“I want to lose weight!” So many are seeking this goal but not many state their intention in this way. Maybe some feel the need to justify their wants, to make then seem necessary or important. Others may feel guilty for wanting or have resistance from self or others. Whatever the reason, our wants turn into needs. Maybe using this word is a habit but when I hear it in a coaching session, it can be a red flag. I often hear the statement, “I need to lose weight.” I wonder, is this the truth? What makes this a “need?”
The English language is amazing. We have so many words for similar emotions and feelings and each of these words carries a slightly different meaning. The word “want” means to desire whereas “need” means to require.
When I hear the word need my intuition says, “Go deeper.” What lies just beneath the current of this need making it a requirement? I may ask, “When you lose the weight that you need, what will you have?”
Some may say, “A thinner body” or “Smaller clothes.” And when we go even deeper by asking, “When your body is thinner and you’re wearing smaller clothes, what will that give you?” Then we peel away the needs, layer by layer, and emotion starts to surface. They reach the place in themselves where their true desire lives and they are ready to declare their wants.
“I need to lose weight.” turns into, “I want more energy!” or “I want to feel sexy!” or “I want higher self- esteem!” or “I want to find a wonderful partner!” Often the true desire is masked by the requirement of a thinner body.
What do you require to reach your desire?
